Goat Grab

To get the Sheiks on your side, you must use tribal diplomacy: cigarettes, chai, chit-chat, long silences you might call awkward, communal goat platters. Negotiating a simple contract for some gravel back at the base is not a concise power-deal brokered in ten minutes. It involves copious small talk, cups of chai, and more cigarettes--then a few minutes of business, in low casual tones while lounging on a a plush pillow or two.

We go out to the Sheiks' compound and sit for hours, declining countless cigarettes and sipping cloying chai and acrid coffee. I especially like the coffee. The coffee server brings it out in an ornate samovar with two small cups, and makes the rounds to everyone. You get a small shot, like espresso. When you pass the cup back to the server you have to give it a little wiggle, which means no more, if you don't do the wiggle, they'll pour you another. Eventually they bring out the Quzi--giant platters of rice mounded with boiled goat and sheep parts, with layers of flat bread and bowls of savory tomato-based broth and vegetables. In a touching gesture of accomodation, they put our platter on a table instead of the floor and bring out spoons, but I am trying hard to eat properly with my hands. The trick is to first tear out the choice pieces of meat and maneuver them to your little corner of the platter. Then you tightly mound clumps of rice and meat together with your four fingers and scoop it up to your mouth, holding it in place with your thumb. It should hold together--although a few pieces still drop from my rice clumps. Then, sliding your fingers up to your mouth, you must deftly and cleanly push the mound into your mouth with the back of your thumb. True masters keep their unsanitary left hand behind their backs during the whole process (although it is allowed to use one's left hand to tear chunks of flatbread and also to dissassemble the meat), but I have to keep it under my right hand to catch rice bits and broth drippings. I'm getting better, though, and have even received some compliments. I plan to teach my kids this technique along with learning chopsticks, because it is a practical way to eat, and much of the world prefers it or uses it out of necessity. The other very tricky thing is scooping up broth with the flat bread--something I need to watch closely at the next goat grab. It is very polite to dig around in the middle of platter for a choice morsel and place it in your guest's territory on the platter; the highest of compliments to feed him that choice morsel yourself, or to slap it greasily in his palm. The Arabs make a good point about eating with one's hands, though: you never know for certain if the silverware is clean, but you do know for certain that your own hands are clean.

One reason we've been successful in our area is that my unit genuinely likes hanging out with these guys. We have a great rapport; my commander even holds a lot of wasta--or influence--with the Sheiks and the local community at large, and a main part of it is because we spend time at the goat grab. Politically, we have made a lot of headway with these Sheiks. Whole tribes in the area have gone from being insurgents to Iraqi Police. The Sheiks like having our commander over to banquets because they introduce him to their friends in the community in a familiar environment. The Sheiks told us they like to show their friends he's just a normal person too, and that he wants the best for the community.